What is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

 

Extracted from http://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-emotional-intelligence-eq/0001037

By Michael Akers & Grover Porter

 

For most people, emotional intelligence (EQ) is more important than one’s intelligence (IQ) in attaining success in their lives and careers. As individuals our success and the success of the profession today depend on our ability to read other people’s signals and react appropriately to them.

Therefore, each one of us must develop the mature emotional intelligence skills required to better understand, empathize and negotiate with other people — particularly as the economy has become more global. Otherwise, success will elude us in our lives and careers.

“Your EQ is the level of your ability to understand other people, what motivates them and how to work cooperatively with them,” says Howard Gardner, the influential Harvard theorist. Five major categories of emotional intelligence skills are recognized by researchers in this area.

Understanding the Five Categories of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

1. Self-awareness. The ability to recognize an emotion as it “happens” is the key to your EQ. Developing self-awareness requires tuning in to your true feelings. If you evaluate your emotions, you can manage them. The major elements of self-awareness are:

  • Emotional awareness. Your ability to recognize your own emotions and their effects.
  • Self-confidence. Sureness about your self-worth and capabilities.

2. Self-regulation. You often have little control over when you experience emotions. You can, however, have some say in how long an emotion will last by using a number of techniques to alleviate negative emotions such as anger, anxiety or depression. A few of these techniques include recasting a situation in a more positive light, taking a long walk and meditation or prayer. Self-regulation involves

  • Self-control. Managing disruptive impulses.
  • Trustworthiness. Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity.
  • Conscientiousness. Taking responsibility for your own performance.
  • Adaptability. Handling change with flexibility.
  • Innovation. Being open to new ideas.

3. Motivation. To motivate yourself for any achievement requires clear goals and a positive attitude. Although you may have a predisposition to either a positive or a negative attitude, you can with effort and practice learn to think more positively. If you catch negative thoughts as they occur, you can reframe them in more positive terms — which will help you achieve your goals. Motivation is made up of:

  • Achievement drive. Your constant striving to improve or to meet a standard of excellence.
  • Commitment. Aligning with the goals of the group or organization.
  • Initiative. Readying yourself to act on opportunities.
  • Optimism. Pursuing goals persistently despite obstacles and setbacks.

4. Empathy. The ability to recognize how people feel is important to success in your life and career. The more skillful you are at discerning the feelings behind others’ signals the better you can control the signals you send them. An empathetic person excels at:

  • Service orientation. Anticipating, recognizing and meeting clients’ needs.
  • Developing others. Sensing what others need to progress and bolstering their abilities.
  • Leveraging diversity. Cultivating opportunities through diverse people.
  • Political awareness. Reading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships.
  • Understanding others. Discerning the feelings behind the needs and wants of others.

5. Social skills. The development of good interpersonal skills is tantamount to success in your life and career. In today’s always-connected world, everyone has immediate access to technical knowledge. Thus, “people skills” are even more important now because you must possess a high EQ to better understand, empathize and negotiate with others in a global economy. Among the most useful skills are:

  • Influence. Wielding effective persuasion tactics.
  • Communication. Sending clear messages.
  • Leadership. Inspiring and guiding groups and people.
  • Change catalyst. Initiating or managing change.
  • Conflict management. Understanding, negotiating and resolving disagreements.
  • Building bonds. Nurturing instrumental relationships.
  • Collaboration and cooperation. Working with others toward shared goals.
  • Team capabilities. Creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals.

What factors are at play when people of high IQ fail and those of modest IQ succeed?

How well you do in your life and career is determined by both. IQ alone is not enough; EQ also matters. In fact, psychologists generally agree that among the ingredients for success, IQ counts for roughly 10% (at best 25%); the rest depends on everything else — including EQ.

The Happiest Bird

A crow lived in a dense forest filled with a wonderful assortment of flora and fauna, insects and animals. The crow was very contented with his carefree life until he saw a swan one day. The swan was gliding gracefully on a lake, creating nary a ripple. "This swan is so pristine white," he thought, "and I am so black. It must be the happiest bird in the world."

He shared his thoughts with the swan. "Actually," the swan replied, "I thought so too until I met a parrot. It had two brilliant shades of red and blue! No other bird could be happier than the parrot."

The crow went in search for the parrot, and found it perched atop an old rain tree. The parrot explained, "I too was very happy until I chanced upon a peacock. My two shades paled in comparisons next to the peacock. Its rich hue of colours put my coat to shame."

Curiosity got the better of the crow, who was determined to locate the beautiful peacock. It finally found the peacock at the zoo. Hundreds of people had gathered round the pen to watch the peacock and its impressively fanned out plumage. After the crowd dispersed, the crow rested itself onto a rock in the pen and exclaimed, "Dear peacock," the crow said, "you are so beautiful. Every day, people come just to see you. People either shoo me away or avoid me when they see me. You must be the happiest bird on the planet!"

The peacock replied matter-of-factly, "My beauty had me entrapped in this zoo. In the years spent here, I often thought to myself that if I were a crow, I could be enjoying a carefree life outside. Then, after many months of internal struggles, I came to realise that I need to learn to be happy in what I have instead of hoping for what I do not have. So my new friend, indeed I feel that I'm now one happy bird, but so can you ..."

~ Adapted ~

Postive vs Negative

In physics, positives attract negatives and vice versa, but in human relationships the opposite is true. Negative people attract only other negative people, while positive thinkers attract like-minded individuals. You will find that when you begin to achieve success more successes will follow. This is the law of harmonious attraction. When riches begin to come your way, you'll be amazed how quickly they accumulate.

Train your mind to visualize yourself acquiring a specific amount of wealth or achieving a certain goal-whatever you most desire. Then use self-suggestion to persuade your subconscious mind that you can achieve your goal, and put your plan into action. When you use the tools that you have at your disposal to prepare yourself for success and visualize  yourself as having already reached your objective, you can achieve any reasonable goal that you set for yourself.

If you have no Major Purpose, you are drifting towards Certain Failure

Not having a major purpose for your life is like trying to navigate without a chart. You may eventually get somewhere you like, or you may drift aimlessly, always hoping-but never finding-the place where you would like to be. As you grow as a person, so will your major purpose. It is the natural order of things that, when you reach the top of one mountain, you will look around for higher peaks to climb. In life, either you are moving forward or you are going backward. When you plot your course carefully and thoughtfully, you can ensure that you are going in the right direction.

10 Instructions in Life

  • Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
  • Follow the three R's: - Respect for self - Respect for others and - Responsibility for all your actions. 
  • Learn the rules so you know how to workaround them properly without breaking them.